Knocked Down
by Kerkerian-Horizon
Summary: The aftermath of Knockdown, or rather, what I felt was missing in the episode after the take-down. First part mainly includes Lanie, Beckett and Castle. Short, bromance.
1. In which Lanie is none the wiser Yet

_Disclaimer_: I don´t own the rights of or anything else related to "Castle" and am only borrowing the characters. I am not making any money by doing so.

_Author´s note_: Well, after the hype about the episode ´Knockdown´ I was rather disappointed about the end, so I decided to change it to my likings. If Ryan and Esposito don´t turn up anymore, I at least deny Beckett her lines about them. So. This is only the first part, and I might rewrite it if I feel like it, but for now: enjoy!

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**Knocked Down**

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Beckett raised an eyebrow when Lanie walked into the waiting area of the hospital, unable to hide a grin: "Lanie! What are you doing here?"

Lanie did not even have the decency to blush: "Just looking after my boys," she replied. "And if you gonna say _any_thing, I´ll not talk to you again, ever," she added, because Beckett´s eybrow had disappeared even further under her fringe mockingly as though wanting to ask: "_Your_ boys?"

Yet a certain edge to the ME´s drawled repartee betrayed her concern, and it was only after a few seconds that Beckett understood it was not about being found out, but real concern for Esposito, and very likely Ryan as well. Despite doing her best to give the world around her the impression that she perpetually had things under control and did not really need others butting in, Lanie had a big heart.

She now wipped around to Castle, a fitting remark ready on her tongue, but the writer had not even noticed her presence yet. He was sitting in one of the plastic chairs, shoulders slumped, eyes closed. The adrenaline was finally wearing off, and even though he was keen on hearing how the two injured detectives were faring, he had decided that a short nap while Kate was looking for a vending machine to get coffee would not hurt anyone.

Beckett now shrugged at Lanie, offering her the spare plastic cup: "They´re still being patched up," she said in a low voice. Lanie obviously tensed at these words, so Beckett hurried to continue: "Ryan´s worse off than Esposito, though. They´ve repeatedly pushed his upper body into a basin full of ice water in order to make him speak, or Javier."

Lanie grimaced: "And did they?" she asked, in a rather quiet voice.

Beckett shook her head: "They didn´t tell Lockwood and his cronies anything," she said with unconcealed pride in her voice. "They-"

"Tell ´er ´bout the ´ero for´ward slash wri´ter of the day," a sleepy voice chimed in, followed by a quickly muffled yawn and an "_ouch_," as Castle had forgotten about his tender hand.

Now it was Lanie´s turn to raise an eyebrow: "What happened to your hand, Castle?" she asked, unwillingly amused by his suffering expression.

"_You_ tell her," he decided, winking at Beckett with an unmistakable air of complacency, then shifting in the chair until he had obviously found another remotely comfy position, and closed his eyes again.

Lanie looked from him to Beckett, unable to follow the writer´s meaning. Beckett however was watching him with something more than only amusement in her expression; and the ME knew her well enough to realize that her friend was pondering Castle with what looked like freshly won respect, despite him currently presenting a rather unimpressive, crumpled heap on a chair.

"Girl, you gotta _lot_ to tell me," she concluded in an undertone. "After I´ve seen Esposito, that is. _And_ Ryan. Don´t you get your panties in a twist."

The supposedly dozing Castle snickered at this, but even without opening his eyes again did he seem to sense that that had not been his best of ideas, so he quickly shut up again.

"Guys," Lanie mouthed and turned to find some staff member to talk to.

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**TBC**

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_More author´s notes_: Folks, I hope I got Lanie right, I find her as hard to write as Espo! Feedback welcome!


	2. In which a nurse is being unnerved

_Disclaimer_: I don´t own the rights of or anything else related to "Castle" and am only borrowing the characters. I am not making any money by doing so.

_Author´s note_: Thank you all for reading and giving feedback! Here´s the second part, including lots of Esposito, Lanie and fluff- you have been warned!

Enjoy!

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**Knocked Down**

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Secretly, Lanie was glad about the encounter with Beckett, as it had calmed her down a little. Beckett had not seemed overly worried, which was immensely reassuring; if Esposito and Ryan still were in any even remotely life-threatening conditions, Lanie would have known. Yet Javier was not someone who was shaken so easily, and he had sent her a text message from the ambulance after all. If he considered it serious enough that it could not wait until he had the chance to give her a proper –and private- call, she knew that the situation had been bad.

She was surprised by the amount of anxiety on Javier´s account she was capable of after only a few weeks of dating, but when it came to that man, she just could not keep her cool, for all intents and purposes.

Involuntarily, she smiled at the warm feeling which spread in the pit of her stomach at these thoughts.

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Esposito was tired. He had been high on adrenaline for hours, but once the rush had subsided, it had left nothing but exhaustion. His patience was wearing thin; he had been examined and asked dozens of questions even though he had repeatedly reassured the nurse, then the doctor and yet another nurse that he was fine, that his neck was admittedly a little chafed but that he could live with that.

All he wanted was to see Ryan, make sure his partner was okay, and then go home. Home to the woman he had surprisingly, madly fallen in love with during the past few weeks. It was more than just a crush or a sexual affair, as far as he was concerned, even though it had taken him a while to realize that. He felt a sudden, overwhelming longing for Lanie as he thought of her, and for the hundreth time wished that he could be with her instead of being prodded and pestered by hospital staff in a sterile examination room.

But it was not just that. He wanted to feel in control because he had felt so utterly helpless before. It had been hard on him to see his partner being tortured, to be forced to anticipate even worse methods of torment Lockwood and his cronies might cook up for Ryan.

It had not occured to Esposito for a second to worry about himself, not even when they had wound that rope around his neck, although he could still feel it burning. He had hardly been able to bear having to watch his friend struggle, to hear the desperate sounds muffled by the water, and feverishly tried to come up with something, _any_thing to end the mistreatment.

Unfortunately, he had been very aware that the thugs had figured they only needed to hurt the one to break the other, and they were obviously going to get the most out of it before changing tactics. Esposito had tried to draw their attention on himself to give Ryan a break, the chance to get some air into his abused lungs, yet when Lockwood had ordered the guy to shoot Ryan´s kneecap, Esposito had believed themselves done. He knew he would have lost it, would have tried to kill their captors with his bare hands, and would not have gotten very far with it.

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Damn it, he told himself, feeling nauseous even at the thought, and got up just as another, very young nurse came into the room. He avoided her gaze but instead shrugged out of the paper gown he was wearing over his pants: "I need my shirt," he announced, "and then I´m going to see my partner."

Something was odd about the ensuing silence, and when he looked up again, Lanie was standing behind the nurse, both of them staring at him. While the nurse kind of looked scandalized, Lanie apparently was amused, judging by her smirk. "You can do whatever you like, detective, but only after I´ve satisfied myself you´re okay," she all but purred, and it was the combination of her presence and her choice of words that made Javier blush like a teenager.

A moment later, Lanie was in his arms, and he felt the whole episode melt away, fading into meaninglessness. It did not matter that the nurse fled the room, just as it did not matter he had nearly died because he had someone to feel safe with, someone who was calm and composed and boy, smelled so good.

They held each other for a long time; it seemed to Esposito as though Lanie´s strength was seeping into his skin and putting his mind at ease.

When they finally let go enough to look at each other, he realized that it was of course not that simple; he read love and affection but also worry and concern in Lanie´s eyes, and it was common knowledge that closure was not achieved by forgetting about the issue. Yet he felt much better already just because his woman was there, and he could not have been more grateful that she had come.

"Thanks for stopping by, baby," he said softly, his eyes smiling at her.

Lanie however raised an eyebrow, much like Beckett had done a little while earlier: "Stopping _by_? Javier Esposito, you had me breaking the law about 500 times while I did the best to get here as fast as I could. And my car is probably being towed by now,"she added, "so wipe that smile off your face."

Javier feigned indignation:"What smile? I´m not smiling!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Am not-"

"Shut up." Lanie kissed him tenderly, and Javier felt himself leaning into it, wanting to savour the tenderness.

They were only interrupted when the little nurse came back in: "You can leave," she said, blushing and staring at a point just above Esposito´s left ear,"I just need your signature on these papers."

"Thanks," he said, still holding Lanie close. "And can you tell me where I can find my partner, Kevin Ryan?"

The young woman seemed to struggle with herself for a few seconds, then she took a deep breath: "He´s in the next room to the right."

"You know, you´ll have quite a reputation here," Lanie teased him when they were alone again.

Javier considered this for a moment while he put on his shirt: "Might come in handy some time," he retorted, flashing her a grin.

Lanie shook her head, but could not subdue her smile; she was relieved that he was okay, or would be. "Go see Ryan," she then said in a more serious tone. "Take all the time you need. You know where to find me."

He pulled her into his arms one more time, marvelling at how she understood him: "Thanks for being there," he murmured, laying his forehead against hers so that their noses touched. "I love you, Lanie Parish."

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**TBC**

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_More author´s notes_: In the next chapter, we´ll finally see Ryan.


	3. In which they talk a lot

_Disclaimer_: I don´t own the rights of or anything else related to "Castle" and am only borrowing the characters. I am not making any money by doing so.

_Author´s note_: Thank you all for reading and giving feedback; sorry that it has taken me so long to update. Here´s a bit of Ryan, finally.

Enjoy!

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**Knocked Down**

o

Esposito did not knock on the door, he just opened it a little and peeked into the room. He had figured that he would not be noticed in case someone was still examining Ryan, and would simply withdraw if need be. Ryan was alone, however, and was sitting huddled into a blanket, much like Esposito had last seen him in the ambulance. Upon a closer look he was wearing what looked like scrubs underneath the blanket, so at least he had gotten out of his wet shirt and vest. He was still visibly trembling, though, and his hair had not dried yet. He looked up when he heard the door closing, and his face brightened up a little: "Hey," he said, a little hoarsely.

Esposito forced himself to smile, even though he felt anything but cheerful: "Hey back," he replied. "How are you doing, bro?"

"Okay as long as no-one tries to take away my blankie," Ryan quipped. Esposito eyed him thoroughly; he knew his partner well enough to see right through his bravado. Ryan was a lot more distressed than he wanted to let on, and Esposito could easily guess what was going on in his mind. He was however glad that Ryan´s teeth had stopped chattering, and that he was not shaking so badly anymore. Nevertheless it was obvious that he was still cold, and his face was much paler than usual, his eyes red-rimmed from the icy water.

"Did nobody get you anything hot to drink?" Esposito asked, trying to get first things first. Ryan motioned to the small table next to the cot: an empty paper cup was sitting on it. "Had some tea."

"That´s all?" Esposito asked, incredulously. "A _puddle_ of tea and a blanket? Didn´t they do anything else to warm you up?"

"Well, they sent a nurse in a very skimpy uniform, but she was not my type. Oh, and I also got a hot water bottle."

Esposito snorted: "Great."

Ryan hugged the blanket tighter around himself: "It could´ve been worse. Much." he said quietly.

Okay, so second things first. "Hey. We´re both here," Esposito replied, in an equally quiet tone, and when Ryan didn´t respond, felt compelled to go on:"You know I wouldn´t have let them shoot you, right?" he asked.

It was the truth, he realized once more as he said it: he would have done everything in his powers to stop them, and he would not have given a damn about the consequences. It was only afterwards, if one had the chance, that consequences suddenly came into the equation while pondering matters.

Ryan avoided his friend´s intense gaze, blinking; he shrugged and seemed to hug himself even more tightly, and when he finally looked at Esposito again, his eyes were swimming.

"They would have shot you, too," he said, voice breaking. He sniffed, trying to regain his composure: "They picked me because I´m weaker, right? They thought I´d break easily..."

"But you jerked them around," Esposito said softly. "And honestly, I don´t know how you come up with that shit. Okay, so you´ve _got_ that creamy elven complexion, and those long and delicate fingers and small feet, but hey! Speaking from my experience, it´s not too bad, and once I´d gotten used to your squeaky voice, I was totally okay with it..." He was very careful to say this playfully, despite a lump in his throat. If this attempt of reassuring Ryan backfired, he´d have made everything even worse.

To Esposito´s immense relief, Ryan managed a grimace that could have been a smile. "Jerk," he murmured eventually, not elaborating whether he meant Esposito or was simply repeating the word.

Esposito watched him as Ryan ran a hand over his face, wiping his eyes, and tried not to conjure up the images from the warehouse he would probably forever carry around with him: Ryan had looked positively terrified after the black hoods had been removed, and it had taken him a few seconds to take heart. Esposito knew he had had himself way better under control, but then he had received hostage situation training during his time with the Special Forces. He had managed to stay calm, and when Ryan had looked at him almost beseechingly, willing his friend to find a way out, Esposito had tried his best to appear unfazed. If anything, his expression had betrayed his anger.

He sat down next to Ryan now, nudging him with his shoulder: "I´m a veteran," he said. "Means I´ve seen enough shit for a lifetime. Doesn´t scare me so easily. But seeing what they were doing to you... I meant it, bro, I couldn´t watch it." He looked down on his hands: "So who´s the sissy here, huh?"

Ryan snorted: "Yeah, but you still managed to make a joke."

"And it was exactly the wrong thing to say." Esposito closed his eyes: "I should have come up with something else... something that would have distracted them for some time. But I couldn´t think, what with seeing you struggle..." He took a deep breath, trying not to heed the feeling of dread and horror which was still there, as livid as it had been in the warehouse.

They were both silent for a moment, feeling exhausted and defeated. Esposito eventually felt a tentative pressure against his shoulder: Ryan was leaning against him. His eyes were moist again, but he also took a deep breath before he spoke: "Well... as long as we´re still here," he said.

Esposito considered this for a while: "So... we can both be sissies," he suggested. "Just don´t tell Beckett."

"Or Castle."

"Oh boy, he´d _so_ rub it in."

"_And_ write about it in his next book."

"_And_ twitter about it."

"Javi?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Hey... till the wheels fall off, remember?"

"Yeah..."

The fell silent again, both of them cherishing those last words; they had even more weight now that they had been put to the test like that.

"Tell Jenny already?" Esposito eventually asked to distract himself from the irrevocable knowledge that they would both carry those awful moments around with themselves for some time.

"Nah," Ryan pulled the blanket tighter around him, "she´s visiting her great-aunt in Ireland, remember?"

Now that his friend mentioned it, Esposito did.

"I´ll tell her when she gets back," Ryan continued, "no need to unnecessarily scare her."

"Good thinkin´" Esposito murmured, though a pleasant warmth made itself known again in the pit of his stomach as he thought of Lanie, and how she had calmed him.

"You shouldn´t be alone tonight," he thus said.

Before Ryan could answer, however, the door opened and a doctor came in. "Mr. Ryan?"

Ryan nodded. When the doctor hesitated, he quickly introduced Esposito: "He´s my partner," he added, "he can hear whatever you´ve got to say."

"Fine with me," the doctor nodded and looked at his chart. "It´s not much anway, you´re free to go. I just need you to sign this."

"Thanks," Ryan took the clipboard and scanned it before signing it. Esposito noticed that Ryan´s hand was trembling, evidence that his friend was still cold.

"He should be fine. Just make sure he keeps warm and takes in enough liquids," the doctor addressed Esposito while Ryan regretfully parted with the blanket and put on his coat, which luckily had stayed dry.

Before either of them could reply, the doctor had left.

"Seems like he misunderstood the meaning of ´partner´ when you introduced me," Esposito shrugged, grinning.

"Right, _he_ obviously heard ´husband´." Ryan took the plastic bag with his wet things and hugged himself to keep what little warmth he had regained. "Can we get out of here now?"

"Sure, sweetheart. Whatever you wish."

"Oh, of course. _I´m_ the wife. Figures."

"I did tell you about your squeaky voice, didn´t I?" Esposito quipped while he opened the door. His heart was still heavy, but bickering with Ryan as usual felt like he was getting his grasp on reality back; much more so in fact than his former banter with Lanie, because he still could not quite believe that they were actually dating, that he really _was_ that lucky.

Beckett and Castle were still there, and both of them offered to take Ryan and Esposito home.

"Wanna crash at my place tonight?" Esposito asked in a low voice as they were all heading towards the elevator.

Ryan looked uncomfortable: "I´d rather be home," he replied. "And don´t you want to be with Lanie?"

Esposito ignored his inner voice that was screeching YES YES YES, I DO, as he knew that Lanie would understand, and Ryan looked so miserable: "She´s got plans tonight," he lied.

"Oh. Okay," Ryan still seemed hesitant. He did not want to admit it, but the thought of being alone gave him the chills. "So... what about if you crash at my place?"

His partner nodded: "´kay. But there´s no way I´ll sleep on that couch."

This earned him a smile from Ryan, if ever so feeble: "We´ll see."

Esposito smiled as well.

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**TBC**

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**


	4. In which they talk some more

_Disclaimer_: I don´t own the rights of or anything else related to "Castle" and am only borrowing the characters. I am not making any money by doing so.

_Author´s note_: Thanks for reading and especially to all those who reviewed! =)

Enjoy!

o

**Knocked Down**

o

In the car, Ryan slid down the seat, huddled into his coat and, being overwhelmed by fatigue as he was at that point, quickly dozed off, his eyes seeming to close on their own account. Esposito however stared out of the window, his chin resting on his hand, his gaze following whatever lights were flying by.

They briefly stopped by his apartment so he could get a few things; while he threw them into a duffle bag, he called Lanie. If she was disappointed, she did not let it on. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," she all but purred before hanging up.

When they finally stopped in front of Ryan´s building, he only woke up when Esposito gently shook his shoulder.

"Need a hand?" Castle asked, turning around when Ryan unsuccessfully fumbled for the door pull.

"Nah, s´all right," the detective mumbled, "Javi ´s got me."

And sure enough, the door opened a moment later to reveal Esposito. While he pulled Ryan out of the car and onto his feet, Castle and Beckett exchanged a glance, neither of them able to subdue a grin.

o

The stairs had never seemed to steep, and why had he not moved into a building with an elevator? Ryan was glad Esposito was supporting him, because otherwise he would seriously have considered just curling up on the first landing and sleep there.

"Come on, bro, nearly there," Esposito´s voice cut through the fog in Ryan´s sleepy brain. He blinked to keep his eyes open while his partner unlocked the door to the apartment, and let himself be steered inside.

"I need a shower," Ryan murmured, "´m still cold."

"Can you manage on your own?"

"Yeah... just show me where the bath is. Oh, but need pajamas."

"´Pajamas´, dude?"

"And underwear," Ryan sighed, oblivious to Esposito´s taunt, trotting off into roughly the direction of his bedroom.

The shower felt so good that Ryan could have wept, just out of sheer elation. He sighed, letting the hot water run over his skin until it was tingling; what a difference it made. No. He refused to go there, did not want to think of the icey cold water he had had to endure earlier. It was worlds apart from the luxurious spray he was under now, and he managed to concentrate on that, on the familiar feel and sounds of the shower.

He let the water unwind the tension that was still noticable in his shoulders, drive away the remnants of the chills. While it did revive him to a certain extent, he was still tired, thus with no small amount of regret eventually cutting the indulgence short. He dried himself off as quickly as possible and slid into his night clothes which he had hung over the radiator to give them a head start, as his gran would have put it, and were therefore pleasantly warm. He used Jenny´s blow dryer to dry his hair and emerged from the bathroom feeling much better than he had anticipated, and much more awake.

Esposito had made tea in the meantime; when Ryan padded into the living room, his partner handed him a mug: "You okay?"

Ryan sat down on the coffee table. "You´re not gonna ask me that every time you see me from now on, are you?"

"No, bro. Life´s too short. But you did look a little peaky before you went showering."

"I _was_ a little peaky."

"Better now?"

"Yeah." Ryan looked down into his tea. "I think I´ll turn in now. Take the other half of the bed?"

"If you ask me like that..." Esposito raised one eyebrow, smirking.

Ryan dragged himself onto his feet: "Apparently, ´tis the night of innuendos," he yawned. "I´m too tired to care. Do whatever you want, but don´t wake me."

Esposito had been wide awake again once they had left the hospital, therefore he still felt too agitated to go to bed. When he finally did an hour later, Ryan was fast asleep. Javier did his best not to shake the mattress too much when he slid under the blanket.

o

It seemed to Esposito that he had only just closed his eyes when he was startled out of sleep again; for a moment, he was confused about his whereabouts and why he could not find his alarm, only to realize that he was at Ryan´s place, and that it was in fact his partner who had woken him. Esposito quickly turned on the bedside lamp: Ryan was dreaming. He was shaking badly and had partially thrown off his blanket because he was writhing, breathing rapidly as he did. As if he tried to get away from someone. Esposito gingerly laid his hand on Ryan´s shoulder: "Yo, bro, wake up!"

Ryan flinched violently, but his eyes snapped open; he looked terrified and disoriented until he seemed to register his surroundings and the fact that he had had a nightmare. Slowly, he sat up, running his hand over his face as he did so: "Sorry." His voice was hoarse.

Esposito shrugged it off: "Don´t see what for."

There was real concern in his expression, and his hand, which was still resting on Ryan´s shoulder, felt like a lifeline, firmly anchored to the immediate, _safe_ present. Kevin wanted it to stay exactly where it was and hated his own weakness.

His own hands were still trembling as he made to lie back down: "Don´t ask," he murmured. "I´m okay. But... can you _not_ let go as of yet?"

Esposito glanced at his hand as though noticing it for the first time; when he looked at his friend again, he nodded. "Sure."

Ryan let out a breath he had not been aware he was holding, and sank back onto his pillow, grateful that he was not alone.

He noticed that Javier was suddenly chuckling, however: "What?"

"Well," Esposito shrugged, unable to hide the glee from his voice, "I was thinking if only the good doctor could see us now."

"Oh," Ryan grinned as well, and Javier noticed with satisfaction that it was a genuine grin, not only a grimace, "he´d get it so wrong."

"Only partially," Javier replied calmly.

Ryan opened one eye and squinted at him: "Bro, you´re not going all teary on me now, are you?"

"Says who?" Esposito quipped. "No, dude, I mean it. You´re my partner. With all that it entails."

Ryan peered at him for a little while longer, then he closed his eye again: "Yeah... I love you too."

Esposito sat there with his hand on Ryan´s shoulder, shaking his head.

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**The End**

o


End file.
